The (B)Advent Calendar - Dec 1st

I have a confession... I hate Christmas... Mum died a few years ago just between Christmas and New Year... Christmas last year, Dad had been in Aberdeen Hospital for a month, was in Hospital here, and was really very poorly... this year I'm skinter than a skint thing that's skint, so there'll be no buying presents for family... I don't know where I'll be Christmas Day... and the shops full of horrendously priced bits of tat that we're supposed to buy for loved ones to show that we love them, tinny-sounding Christmas "muzak", and shop assistants wearing Santa hats and tinsel round their necks just makes me want to crawl into a hole until it's all over...

So, I present my alternative countdown to Crap-mas, with everything that's bad about the season...

December 1st - Sore feet...

You've trudged round and round the shops trying to find something for Great-Auntie Ermintrude, had your toes trampled by swarms of desperate shoppers, and all you've got for your trouble are corns, blisters and aching feet.

MERRY CRAP-MAS!