"The fairies only left Orkney when folk stopped seekin' them" - Anonymous Orcadian
"Never be afraid to seek" - Ally

Thursday, August 20, 2009

I Don't Dream...

... or, if I do, I never remember them the next day. But last night I had a really disturbing dream (or dreams, because I think I woke up in the middle of it / them)...

I don't really remember how it started, just that all of a sudden I was back in what had been Mum & Dad's bedroom at our last house, and I was lying in their bed. I don't know what age I was, but I knew that Mum & Dad were both dead.

And then Mum was there, lying in the bed beside me, and suddenly it felt like this was the real world, and I was in the new house, and Mum wasn't dead... coz she felt so real, like I could reach out and touch her. And then we were back at the other house, and Dad appeared, and he was trying to tell me that Mum couldn't really be there, because she was dead... but he couldn't see that he was the same. He just kept on telling me, "That's not really your Mum... she's not here".

Next I was aware, I was in like an old theatre or something, and the ballerina Darcey Bussell was on stage, behind a closed curtain, dancing a very melancholic dance with a small child with her... Darcey was wearing a dark blue, or almost black, dress with a long net skirt, and was heavily pregnant (I remember being amazed that she could hold her balance so well with a bump), and was lit by a solitary white spotlight. A lone violin was playing sadly somewhere from backstage. The theatre was empty.

Then I was in a small room, like a poorly-furnished kitchen, and a woman was sitting at a table, her head bowed. The room was dark, and a small child (maybe the same one that was with Darcey) was stood beside her, head bowed as well. They seemed to be in old-fashioned clothes, and were obviously poor. I walked up to the woman to ask where I was, and was shocked when she lifted her head... Her eyes were closed, and her eyelashes were like long yellow feathers (for want of a better way to describe them) that reached down to her chin... the effect being like curtains. The child was the same, and neither spoke to me... just opened their eyes, looked at me, then closed their eyes and bowed their heads again.

I think this was the point I woke up.

Strange and disturbing...

2 comments:

Nev said...

Sounds like you're still coming to terms with your parents' deaths...I know I'm still coming to grips with my father having passed away. Hugs to you Ally!

Julie said...

yep..agree with Nev..it's a healing process, your innner mind needs to come to terms with your loss and in the real world we just don;t have time to grieve...

Hugs..