In The Words Of Granny Weatherwax...

You're Gonna Have To Face It, You're Addicted To...

... Farmville (apologies to the late Robert Palmer for adulterating his lyrics there)...

Damn game should come with a Government Health Warning!

If you are worried that you may be becoming addicted, here are some of the warning signs to look out for... If you can identify with any of these, you may need intervention:

- First thing you do in the morning is log on to Facebook to see if anyone left you any gifts.

- If no one did, you are in a bad mood for the rest of the day.

- You are seriously considering creating a fake persona on Facebook just so that they can become your neighbour so you can expand again.

- You buy a chicken coop for your TWO chickens.

- Your real world (and if you say "what's the real world?" then there really is no hope for you) friends (assuming you still have some) start avoiding you because all your conversations start with "When are you going to accept my neighbour request? You don't have to play after that, I just need another 6 neighbours so I can expand".

- You spend 65,000 farm coins to buy a (pink) tractor, a seeder AND a harvester... and you've only got 6 plots!

- You start organising your day around when your dog needs fed.

- You finally tear yourself away from the computer at 2am, with everything fed and harvested, once you've double checked that you have no pending gift requests.

- 10 minutes later after logging off at 2am, you're logging back on, just in case someone sent you a gift request in that time.

- You ignore your best friend when you meet in Tesco, just because they haven't sent you a gift request for the last 2 days.

- Despite the fact you live in a rural community, when you overhear someone saying, "I must go home and see to my chickens", your first thought is to run up to them and say, "Add me as a neighbour!"

- You have been heard shouting "Not another bloody nail! I'm not building anything!" at the computer.

- You rate your friends according to their Farmville level.

- When you hear someone say "I'm level 16 now", your reply is "Oh, bless! I remember when I was a Newbie too".

- The merest mention of "Farmville" overheard makes you prick up your ears.

- You're sitting in a cafe having a coffee, and you can hear 2 people a couple of tables away (close enough for you to earwig, but too far away for you to "casually" join in the conversation) discussing the Farmville Phenomenon... and you are so desperate to ask, "Need another neighbour? I only need one more to get a super plantation".

- You put a request out on a community-based forum you use for anyone who plays Farmville to add you as a Facebook friend, just so you can add them as a neighbour.

- You get palpitations every time there are new items available in the market.


Now, did you blush and laugh nervously at any of the above? (And, yes, I did). Then you could be in danger of becoming an addict.

However... before you book yourself into Farmers Anonymous (which may not exist, but really SHOULD)... gonna add me as a neighbour? Please? I just need 2 more to expand! I'll send you gifts regularly... and fertilise your plots... and feed your chickens... Go on... PLEASE???"

Today's Burning Question....

How does a cat know that rubbing your thumb and index finger together means "come here, puss"?

Who tells them?

Look To The Right...

... and down a peedie bit, and you will see a bright, shiny new link in among the Orkney stuff.

All About Orkney is a new website that does exactly what it says on the tin - It's All About Orkney!

Well worth a look...

Ooo...

... my StatCounter counter reads "030030"... I should make a wish!

Seriously, though, it means my humble little blog has chalked up its 30,000th visit sometime over the weekend... Congratulations to you if you were that lucky visitor - your prize is in the post!

I Could Have A Criminal Record...

... and, no, I don't mean "Engelbert Humperdinck's The Dance Album"!

I went shopping tonight at our local supermarket (I won't tell you which one, but I will give you a clue, because - ahem - "Every Little Helps"), and as part of my shopping, I bought two plastic storage crates for keeping handbags and shoes in (2 females sharing a house = a lot of handbags and shoes). Anyway, I got to the checkout, put all the shopping on the checkout, and decided once it was all gone through, I would put all the groceries IN the storage crates (one inside the other, I didn't have THAT much shopping). Packed all my shopping, paid, and off I went outside.

And that was when I noticed...

... all the groceries were in the storage crates, except for a carton of Tropicana Pure Premium Orange Juice with EXTRA Juicy Bits (no, not just the normal Tropicana Pure Premium Orange Juice with Juicy Bits, this stuff was more expensive @ £1.93), which was sitting in the trolley.

"Funny," I thought, "Why did I put all the rest of the stuff in the storage crates (one inside the other), and then put the carton of orange juice just in the trolley?"

And that was when the feeling of dread came over me... and I checked the receipt...

AND THE CARTON OF ORANGE JUICE WASN'T ON IT!!!!!!

Yes, people... for the first time in my life, I am guilty of (inadvertantly) shoplifting!

But, by that time, we (my brother & I) had left the-supermarket-who-will-remain-nameless, and I couldn't exactly go back and say "Here's £1.93 for the carton of orange juice I just accidentally nicked from you"!

I've got to go there again tomorrow night... What if they've reviewed the security cameras and the cops will be waiting for me? Or I'll be walking around the store and suddenly the security guard will clap me on the shoulder and say "Do you mind coming with me, madam?"?

I'll try to keep blogging from jail, if they let me...

Thanks, Kasia & Marcin...

Viki & I were invited to stay with a couple of Polish workmates of Viki's last night, as a kind of housewarming since they'd moved into a flat of their own. And, as it was through in Stromness, and there were no buses going back after about 9pm, we slept on a couple of sofas in their living room.

It was a great night. To start with, we had bigos (which is absolutely delicious, by the way), and some alcohol (tea with rum for the other 3, and rum & coke for me, because I hate tea). And later we went out to the pub (where there was a karaoke night on, but I swear I didn't sing... I wouldn't do that to people).

Lol... to begin with I felt a bit "normal" - it was a very international party - one Hungarian, 2 Polish, a Lithuanian girl, and a Nigerian! And me just a simples Orcadian! I never imagined 5 years ago that I would have such exotic friends!

So, thank you Kasia & Marcin for the hospitality & the sofas... It was really good fun.

Just a final thing, though... I don't think I will ever risk Polish beer again!

Woah....

...it sure has been a long time since I've updated the blog, hasn't it?

Well, I guess this first new post should be to update you on what's happened in the last 4 months... So, here goes...

A Month Of... Taking A Few Months Off

Well, the daily videos were the first casualty - They might come back at some stage... I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

Turtley New Arrivals

On 31st October, Viki & I welcomed a new member to the family - a yellow-bellied slider terrapin, who we named "Aristotle" (named after Telly Savalas, and so I could make the "Aris-turtle" pun). Here he is on the first day we had him...

And then, on the night before Christmas my brother gave to us (to be sung to the tune of "On The First Day Of Christmas")... not 2 turtle doves, but a map turtle who we christened "Atlas" (Atlas? Maps? See what we did there?)... Again, here's the new addition on day 1...

Now, Aristotle is much bigger than he was... Atlas is getting a wee bit bigger... and this is how the brothers like to sit in the tank...

(in fact, looking behind me, that's how they are sitting right at this moment).

I will admit I was a little unsure when we got Aristotle, mainly because I'd never had reptiles as pets before, or even handled them, but Viki kept them back home in Hungary. But now I love our little guys (er... we've decided in our own way that they are boys... We can't really tell for sure yet, cause they're too peedie, but we always refer to them as "he", and "brothers", so I guess we might be in for a bit of a red face if we discover in a year or two that one or both of them is/are female).

Oh, they've also got company in the tank... When we got Aristotle, Viki said that live food is good for terrapins, so we bought a peedie fish for him to catch and eat... except he decided that the fish is "friend" not "food" - so Findus (as he's been christened) lives happily (if a little warily at first) with them in the tank!

So, what else has been happening?


End Of An Era

After almost 15 years of working in the same building (10 years for one company, and then nearly 5 years for another), I am now in the position of being unemployed. My boss declared the firm insolvent, and we were closed down on 11th November. I'd known it was going to happen for a few months, and couldn't say anything to anybody, and I made the decision to hang on til the end and collect my wages as long as I could, and then my redundancy (15 years' worth, since when I started the last job, I was employed under TUPE legislation). However, there have been some problems getting the money I was entitled to, which are still ongoing to a certain extent - so the last few months have been hard financially, and very stressful. Now I'm back to claiming Job-Seekers Allowance and searching for a job, along with everyone else who has become a victim of the recession. I'm finding it very hard to keep motivated and upbeat, which is pretty much why the blog has been on ice for months.

Snow Longer Funny

Speaking of "on ice" - god, I am sick of this winter! Up here in Orkney, we seem to have had ice and snow and sleet and frost solidly since around Christmas time. Our last lot of snow was just starting to go yesterday, and this morning I looked out the window and saw big, white, wet flakes drifting down. Then, later this afternoon, and now again this evening, there have been showers of more sleety stuff, meaning that it's once again white outside! I am just so fed up of going slowly and carefully all the time, worrying that I'm going to fall and break an arm or a leg (bearing in mind that I still have a bandage on one leg to try and heal a peedie ulcer I have and, as a result, am having to wear shoes that are too big, and one had to be cut and has to be held on with micropore tape - and they've not got the best grips in the world for dealing with ice and snow). I swear I'm going to hibernate for the rest of winter if this is going to go on much longer!

Christmas & New Year

Even with no job and not much money, Christmas and New Year were pretty damn good this year. The house was decorated for the first time in years (I never bothered latterly... I just didn't see the point, and just wanted the "Festive" season to be over with as soon as possible). However, with Viki here, it was so different. We followed the Hungarian tradition, and put the tree and decorations up on Christmas Eve, and it was such fun. Then Christmas dinner was had at my brother's. We didn't go and see the Ba's on Christmas Day (both went up anyway, so least said about that, the better). Then, the day after Boxing Day, we (my brother, Viki & me) were all invited out to my sister's for tea.

New Year was good too. Viki & me went up to Broad Street for Midnight, and I don't really remember too much else, so I guess it was a good night (mind you, it was 2 months ago, and I'm getting on a bit now, so maybe it's just general old age that's made me forget). Had a spot of good news on New Year's Day, as the Mens Ba came doon for the first time in god knows how long, and Viki got to see it! I think her scream of "Yes!" as the ba went in the harbour was louder than everyone elses! Boys Ba still went up though, but it was a start! New Year's Day dinner was Hungarian Bean Soup... doesn't sound like much, but it was thick and warming and full of smokey ham. Delicious!

Other News

Not really too much other news, I don't think. Just celebrated Viki's *ahem* 29th birthday on Saturday. Friday night her & me went out for a meal, before David joined us for some drinks. Then Saturday night one of her workmates came through from Stromness and we went out drinking. Fun at the time, but I think I'm getting too old for serious drinking now!

So, I think that's enough to be going on with. I'm feeling a little light-headed after all this typing, so I think I might have to go lie down in a darkened room for a while. Promise it won't be so long til the next update, although I won't make any rash promises about when it'll appear.

Oh, and please feel free to comment, although I'm having to turn the comment moderation on again, because I'm getting a few spam comments being posted. I promise all genuine comments will be approved, whether positive or negative (although obviously I'd prefer positive). Or why not sign the guest book?

Okay... that really is all for now... Bye bye... x

I'm Free!!!!

Just got news today... I am officially discharged from Bankruptcy as of the 3rd September!

That is a hell of a weight off my mind knowing what is happening in a matter of a couple of weeks' time...

What's Another Year?

A helluva lot, actually!

On this day a year ago, Viki got on a plane from Hungary, leaving behind her family, friends, and job, and took a flight into the unknown to move in with me (after being friends for a couple of years by email and msn, and a week holiday in August last year) and look for a job here... which she got after a few months.

And I just want to take this opportunity to say "Thank you" to her for what has been the best year of my life... Viki has been my strength and my shoulder to cry on through what has been a very hard year (with the bankruptcy, and my uncertainty over my job, and my leg woes), and on many days has been the only thing worth going home for. She has cheered me up when I needed it... given me a swift kick up the arse when I've been feeling sorry for myself... and given me a reason to go on when I've wondered what was the point...

She took an incredible risk and made a lot of sacrifices to come here, and I just hope she knows how much I love her, and how I will always be indebted to her for everything she has done for me.

I'm a different person this last year, and credit for that must go entirely to Viki.

Koszonom, draga... Szeretlek...

Not Exactly Sure When It Happened, But...

I've had my 25,000th visit!

Wow!

Do you lot really have so little to do that you come and read my inane witterings?

Er... not that I don't appreciate it, you understand... I get a warm and fuzzy feeling from every one of you!

Thank you, and do call again...

Meet Our New Nephew (Or Niece, We're Not Too Sure Yet)

Well, have you ever tried getting close enough to a semi-feral cat to discover if it's an Arthur or a Martha? It's not easy!

Anyway, over the last couple of weeks, my brother has been out on my sister's farm looking after their elderly dog while they've been on holiday (remember, I mentioned that Viki & I had been out there at the weekends?)... Well, while there, he was also feeding the colony of semi-feral cats that live in the byre and *ahem* keep the rats down (why the "ahem"? because while my brother was there, he was feeding them cooked chicken and mussels, and they didn't seem that keen on rodent after that)!

Among the colony there are 3 ginger cats... Big Ginge (as christened by Dave) who is dad to Peedie Ginge and Peedie Peedie Ginge. Well, I say "are"... now more "were", as Peedie Peedie has been adopted by David. He (we think it's a he) is somewhere about 4 months old, and has been in his new home since Saturday.

He's a peedie bit nervous still, but is beginning to settle down to indoor life. As you can see, he's being let off with murder at the moment... worktops will become off-limits ere long...

And he seems to like the food at this hotel... while his kith and kin have gone back to bread, cat food and munchies... he's still dining on mussels!

You can expect more photos and adventures of Peedie Peedie (as we are trying to persuade David to name him permanently... or at least Ginge) on here, but in the meantime, you can see him in his former home with his brother or sister, Peedie Ginge, here.

The Fruit Pastille Update...

Not had a packet for a while, but decided to try my luck today... and it's a goodie:

Only 1 disgusting Green one
2 Yellows
2 Oranges
2 Reds
and 7 (yes, SEVEN!!!) Black ones - Hallelujah!

Wot's Hot 'n' Wot's Not...

A new occasional feature for the blog... basically what's good and what's annoying me at any given time... So:

Hot

- It's Friday, and I'm not working tomorrow... so a few pints with Viki tonight and a day of retail therapy tomorrow.
- The bag of roasted & salted crunchy corn nuts (like unpopped popcorn) that I've been munching for part of the morning.
- "Fast Car" by Tracy Chapman which is playing on tin-pot local radio at the moment and the fact I'm alone in the office which means I can sing along (badly).
- Vanilla HobNob Creams (of which there's only half a packet left... eeek!
- It's sunny outside.

Not

- The bloody wood pigeon or whatever that drove me crazy this morning going "hoot-hoot, hoooooot... hoot-hoot, hoooooot" outside the bedroom window! Pigeons are evil, smelly, noisy vermin with wings!
-The fact that I've got Viki's purse this morning, and she's got mine (never decide to put someone else's stuff in your bag just so that you only have to carry one bag... it's not worth it). Good job I know her PIN number (uh, oh... she knows mine!) coz I had to borrow £10 from her account just so I could get to work!

Like Son, Like Mother...

Yes, I know that saying usually goes the other way around... and I know it's usually "Like FATHER, like son", but it's not such a good title like that!

Do you remember on my photo blog that I had posted photos of when Gizmo the cat followed Viki & I round to my brother's, and just made himself at home?

Well... now his mother, Leia, has been a visit... or TWO visits!

It all started one Thursday night... now, she's taken to sitting at the corner of the street just down from our house, and waiting for us to come home... but this night, we were heading away from the house... round to David, who was going to take us to Tesco. And the damn cat followed us! We were in a hurry to catch Tesco, so all we could do was leave her sitting outside his gate, and go off in the car.

When we got back, she was nowhere to be seen, so we assumed that she had gone home... Except we didn't see her when we arrived back at the house, and it didn't look like she had been home the next day when we came back after work.

We went out, had some food, had some (okay, a lot of) drink, and we were back at David's with him and another guy when David & Viki went out for a smoke... and who should they find sitting on David's gate? Leia!

Into the house she marched, scoffed a slice of his corned beef, polished off his tub of cream, and just sat there happily washing on the mat and lapping up all the attention!

She's been back a visit again another night when we obviously didn't come home early enough ourselves! It appears that if we're not back by 11pm, she's going to come looking for us.

Who does she think she is? Our mother!?

By The Time You Read This, I Will Be Gone...

... to spend the weekend at my sister's farm with my brother and Viki. (Did I have you worried there?).

My sister & brother-in-law are away on holiday for a couple of weeks, and my brother is farm-sitting, looking after the cats and their elderly dog... so Viki & I are tagging along for tonight, tomorrow and tomorrow night... returning Sunday night because we both have to go to work on Monday.

So, I've cunningly pre-prepared the music video posts for the next couple of days, as well as planting this to auto-publish at 11pm... by which time we should be sitting in the dark (and I mean DARK... their farm is down in a valley, away from the main road and any lights), with a flatulent dog (and probably a flatulent brother), and the cows outside, and watching the DVD of "Poltergeist", which I've not seen for years, and which Viki has never seen... so no phoning when you read this trying to give us a fright - the mobile will be on silent (if I can get a signal at all, which is unlikely... as I said, they're down in a valley)!

See you in a couple of days!

Something Happened Today...

that I can't tell you about yet.

Something that I've known was going to happen for a while, but still it's knocked me for six a little.

But I'll survive... I've survived worse... and my personal life is pretty good otherwise (not going to tell you too much about that either, but suffice to say, aside from this new development, I'm a happy bunny).

I'll update you on this piece of news when I can.

Lost In Translation?

HeeHee... I've got to grass Viki up...

We were down at my brother's a visit last night, and satellite music channel Bliss was playing a selection of '90's pop "classics" (I would have picked something with '80's music, but Viki keeps pointing out that she's younger than some of those songs), and on came R Kelly's "I Believe I Can Fly"...

I was doing a crossword puzzle, and Viki was colouring in a "Hello Kitty" picture (don't ask!), when she suddenly said, "I can hear him singing something, but I don't think it can really be what he's singing"... so I asked her what she thought he was singing.

She waited until the particular line came on again, and said "Here... he's singing, "I'm on a virgin king"".

I almost peed myself laughing and corrected her that what he was in fact singing was, "I'm on the verge of breaking down".

On the same theme, suddenly for me (for reasons I won't go into) Ronan Keating's song has become "You wear it best, when you wear nothing at all"...

More Dreams Of Dead Folk...

Okay, that's 2 nights in a row now... what's going on?

This time I don't really remember that much, just that there was a bunch of dead people hanging around (not zombies, not ghosts... they looked normal, just dead) including one person I recognised - a friend who passed away 2 or 3 years ago.

I want to go back to not dreaming!

Orkney In The News...

This from the BBC News Website today:

Scotland's "Earliest Face" Found In Orkney

lol... A bored Neolithic man's doodle of the wife?