"The fairies only left Orkney when folk stopped seekin' them" - Anonymous Orcadian
"Never be afraid to seek" - Ally

Thursday, August 06, 2009

It's Official


I am old.

Yep, today is the anniversary of that illustrious day that I first drew breath upon this planet, and it's a depressing one...

It's not quite a landmark one - not like I'm 40, or 50 (like my sister was a couple of weeks ago... hahahahahahaha!), but I'm 36 today... past the halfway mark of my "3 score year and 10" lifespan.

See, I had come on here intending to lie to you and say I'm only 32 today, but Julie and Viki both read my blog and both of them would take great delight in posting a comment telling the truth and exposing me (oo-er, missus) as the burnt-pants liar that I would be. Julie would grass me up because I'm now the same age as her for a few months before she becomes older than me again (I guess this means I've just divulged her age to everyone reading this... oops...) and Viki would take great delight telling everyone that I'm now 8 years older than her, instead of just the 7.5 that I was from February 'til now. Friends, I sure know how to pick 'em(!) *

And how am I spending this birthday? All alone at work, coming in an hour earlier than usual to open up, because the boss is away, and Flunky has the day off for a family funeral. So I'm in the office, while the rest of Orkney basks in a sub-tropical heatwave and doesn't come to buy cable.

However, I've managed to persuade the nurse to take off the compression bandage on my leg (which is on for a month or so because my little ulcer was getting worse again) for the weekend so Viki can take me out to a posh (well, posh for Orkney) hotel for a birthday dinner tomorrow night, and I got my ears syringed (well, one of them... the other needs the wax softened a bit yet), so I can hear again for the first time in about 20 years (you start to need to do things like this when you get to my age... stop laughing, Viki... it'll happen to you too!).

Well, better finish my lunch and get back to work, I guess...









* only joking, you guys... you know I'm teasing, right... er, right????

10 comments:

Viki said...

happy birthday to u! er... HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO U! Groan! People at this age are so difficult sometimes! Which of ur lug shall I shout? I forgot! Mivan! My memory is not the same anymore! Is ur influence!

Ok. Happy birthday. Many many many more!

AllyBally said...

ooooo... u r in so much trouble!

honestly, u young people have no respect today... if I had spoken 2 an old person like that, I wud have had my erse skelped with a slipper!

now... come here so I can skelp u... and don't run so fast... I'm not so young any more...

Viki said...

You cant skelp me! You cant risk getting too exhausted after that!

My favourite joke of this kind:
A: Am I too old?
B: Course not... but I dont think you shouldnt start reading War and Peace...

Lalala

AllyBally said...

lol... thanks(!)

how lucky I have you to keep me young... I don't come home from work and fall asleep on the sofa for "10 minutes" before wakening up at 11pm...

lalala

Viki said...

True... but at least there is enough space for the candles on my birthday cake!

AllyBally said...

oh, this hurts!

so... ahham... where is my birthday cake?

Viki said...

It's stored in one of the poshest restaurants in Kirkwall. Tomorrow you will see it... lalala... vvvvvvvvvvvv I baked it for u!

AllyBally said...

u baked it????

er... maybe I'll pass... just remembering the melted butter (and tub) in the micro...

Viki said...

MIVAN!!!!!!!!!
I just wanted to help! U need more rest than me and didnt want u to cook! And that's what I get! Nice! (jejejejejeje)

Julie said...

There's no shame in 36...just because you are 4 years from 40....oh sh*t...so am I and in December I'll be 3 years from 40.....we'll just have to face it and be old farts together! xxxx