It's Official

I am old.

Yep, today is the anniversary of that illustrious day that I first drew breath upon this planet, and it's a depressing one...

It's not quite a landmark one - not like I'm 40, or 50 (like my sister was a couple of weeks ago... hahahahahahaha!), but I'm 36 today... past the halfway mark of my "3 score year and 10" lifespan.

See, I had come on here intending to lie to you and say I'm only 32 today, but Julie and Viki both read my blog and both of them would take great delight in posting a comment telling the truth and exposing me (oo-er, missus) as the burnt-pants liar that I would be. Julie would grass me up because I'm now the same age as her for a few months before she becomes older than me again (I guess this means I've just divulged her age to everyone reading this... oops...) and Viki would take great delight telling everyone that I'm now 8 years older than her, instead of just the 7.5 that I was from February 'til now. Friends, I sure know how to pick 'em(!) *

And how am I spending this birthday? All alone at work, coming in an hour earlier than usual to open up, because the boss is away, and Flunky has the day off for a family funeral. So I'm in the office, while the rest of Orkney basks in a sub-tropical heatwave and doesn't come to buy cable.

However, I've managed to persuade the nurse to take off the compression bandage on my leg (which is on for a month or so because my little ulcer was getting worse again) for the weekend so Viki can take me out to a posh (well, posh for Orkney) hotel for a birthday dinner tomorrow night, and I got my ears syringed (well, one of them... the other needs the wax softened a bit yet), so I can hear again for the first time in about 20 years (you start to need to do things like this when you get to my age... stop laughing, Viki... it'll happen to you too!).

Well, better finish my lunch and get back to work, I guess...









* only joking, you guys... you know I'm teasing, right... er, right????

A Month Of... Name Dropping...

Trying again to get that Wurzel's name in a song... but I can only offer her a sex change...

Paul Simon with "Me & Julio Down By The Schoolyard"...

It still means the same though, but at least as a guy she could get off with being a down-bearded youth!

I know she should be happy with the song, though... being a Paul Simon fan...

Links:

Paul Simon
Julio (Meaning)

Oh! Wait! I've got one! How could I possibly forget the mighty Shaky and "Oh, Julie"?

A Month Of... Name Dropping...

Chris Rea and as near as I think I can get to a certain Wurzel's name in a song title...

"Julia"...

Links:

Chris Rea
Julia (Meaning)

Er... mibbe not the best meaning!

Following You, Following Me...

I'm doing a bit of cyber-stalking of my own now!

Julie, Nev, Lou, Freddie & Cheeky... oh, and Madvanman (try saying that after a pint or 6)... I'm following you!

A Last Bite At The Cheese...

Following Julie's departure from the cheese battle (obviously she knows when she's beaten), I just have to fit in one more morsel of milky goodness - this time a crumb of Käse (German for cheese if, like me, you did French at school) which has been loitering at the back of the fridge since Eurovision 1979...

Dschinghis Khan and "Dschinghis Khan" (and I've decided I no longer want Rasputin... if Genghis (reverting to the spelling I know best) Khan can make 7 children in one night, as Viki assures me the song boasts, then I want him!)

(Er... I can't help but wonder if I'm being brave or foolish typing this while Viki is standing behind me with a pair of hot hair straighteners, straightening my hair!)

To Julie...

I've been asked (nay, TOLD) to type the following message:

Hi,

Thanks for the wishes!

All the best to you!

Pls read my comment on E-rotic song! It'll worth! :)

Viki


(ps. she's left you a comment on the Feta post too... and please don't encourage her baldie loving!)

Euro Cheese

I have Viki to thank for this song as she had it playing on YouTube when I came home yesterday!

Okay, Julie, so it's not older than the 80's, but it's still cheese!

Swiss / German band E-Rotic (yes, you can correctly deduce from that that this video is maybe not suitable for kids), and "Fred Come To Bed"...

It's worth having a look at their discography on Wikipedia, just to check out some of their song titles!

Feta...

aka Greek Cheese...

Coz today we have "If" by Telly Savalas (aka Slaphead... aka Dead... aka Fuuuuuuuuuuuuj (sorry, Viki))...

Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeese...

Apologies for the gap yesterday, but today I'm back, and badder than ever (and not in a good way)...

Ray Peterson and the vomit-inducing "Tell Laura I Love Her"...

Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese!

Bloody hell... When I started this latest round of The Cheese War with Julie, little did I realise just how low I would have to sink, and the indignities I would have to inflict upon my poor wee blog, just to try to keep up (or should that be down?) to her level...

I'm cringing as I type this... and I hit "pause" on the YouTube clip just as quickly as I could, before the vocal actually started!

Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, for your delectation... I give you (please take him)...

Neil Sedaka and "Calendar Girl"... (Eeek)

Really, Really, Really, Really Old Cheese...

From way back in the 50's.... Sheb Wooley (whooooooooooooooooo?) and "The Purple People Eater"...

And I really recommend having a read of the Wikipedia page about the song... especially all the stuff about is the people eater purple, or does he eat purple people! I was in fits!

Somerset Cheese...

Okay.... fighting back with some old (sorry... vintage) cheese from Julie's neck of the woods!

From 1976, a spot of The Wurzels and "Combine Harvester (Brand New Key)"... Sorry, Julie...

*Sits back smugly knowing Julie won't be able to find any Orkney Cheese*

Space Cheese

Beat this, Julie & Brian... Go on, I dares ya!

William Shatner's "interpretation" of Elton John's "Rocketman"...

Cheeeeeeeeeeese...

In response to Julie's cheese-that's-not-cheese, I'm hitting back with another TV star...

Mike Sarne (no, not him) and Wendy Richards and "Come Outside"...

How horrible to hear that Wendy has been diagnosed with terminal cancer...

A Break From The Cheese...

To give poor Julie a chance to recover from the horrible email she got at her work yesterday, compose herself, and come up with some retaliation, there will be no cheese post today (I know, I know... you're inconsolable... but hang in there, it WILL be back)...

Cheeeeeeeeeeese

Why, why, why.... did Julie & F have to beat me to Tom Jones?

Still... I think I've come up with a blinder today...

Ladles and Jellyspoons, I give you... Clive Dunn and "Grandad"...

Can You Take Any More Cheese Today?

Some Antipodean cheese for you today, in the form of Rolf Harris and "Jake The Peg"... I used to love this when I was a kid...

And a link to one of the idiots who are prepared to make a fool of themselves for the benefit of YouTube viewers (gawd bless 'em all!), this time doing the actions to Rolf's song "Court Of King Caractacus"

Go on, Julie & F... Beat that!

Diss My Cheese, Would You?

It would appear that my opponents in the Cheese War are contesting one of my choices!

Right, let's see what the grey cells can come up with today (after a day off yesterday)...

*Rummages in memorybanks and pulls out a winner*

From 1976, Showaddywaddy and "Under The Moon Of Love"...

Hot from the days when popstars looked (and danced) like your dad!

The Cheese Wars Continue...

Today's offensive takes the form of Millie and "My Boy Lollipop"...

Okay, Julie, do your worst!

Launching A Cheese Bomb!

Hoping to knock the wind out of Julie's sails a bit!

Mary Hopkin and "Those Were The Days"...