Subliminal Cruelty...

That's what I am a victim of, and it's Viki's fault!

I was sitting on the sofa last night, slowly nodding off, and she was on the computer, playing music as she worked... and suddenly I was aware of Aneka and "Japanese Boy" ringing out...

Until she discovered that, although she might have been a one-hit-wonder here, in Europe people were foolish enough to buy another 2 of her songs... including this one... which has been going round and round my head today... Thanks, Viki(!)

"Ooh Shooby Doo Doo Lang"...

A Last Bite At The Cheese...

Following Julie's departure from the cheese battle (obviously she knows when she's beaten), I just have to fit in one more morsel of milky goodness - this time a crumb of Käse (German for cheese if, like me, you did French at school) which has been loitering at the back of the fridge since Eurovision 1979...

Dschinghis Khan and "Dschinghis Khan" (and I've decided I no longer want Rasputin... if Genghis (reverting to the spelling I know best) Khan can make 7 children in one night, as Viki assures me the song boasts, then I want him!)

(Er... I can't help but wonder if I'm being brave or foolish typing this while Viki is standing behind me with a pair of hot hair straighteners, straightening my hair!)

To Julie...

I've been asked (nay, TOLD) to type the following message:

Hi,

Thanks for the wishes!

All the best to you!

Pls read my comment on E-rotic song! It'll worth! :)

Viki


(ps. she's left you a comment on the Feta post too... and please don't encourage her baldie loving!)

Euro Cheese

I have Viki to thank for this song as she had it playing on YouTube when I came home yesterday!

Okay, Julie, so it's not older than the 80's, but it's still cheese!

Swiss / German band E-Rotic (yes, you can correctly deduce from that that this video is maybe not suitable for kids), and "Fred Come To Bed"...

It's worth having a look at their discography on Wikipedia, just to check out some of their song titles!

Feta...

aka Greek Cheese...

Coz today we have "If" by Telly Savalas (aka Slaphead... aka Dead... aka Fuuuuuuuuuuuuj (sorry, Viki))...

Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeese...

Apologies for the gap yesterday, but today I'm back, and badder than ever (and not in a good way)...

Ray Peterson and the vomit-inducing "Tell Laura I Love Her"...

Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese!

Bloody hell... When I started this latest round of The Cheese War with Julie, little did I realise just how low I would have to sink, and the indignities I would have to inflict upon my poor wee blog, just to try to keep up (or should that be down?) to her level...

I'm cringing as I type this... and I hit "pause" on the YouTube clip just as quickly as I could, before the vocal actually started!

Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, for your delectation... I give you (please take him)...

Neil Sedaka and "Calendar Girl"... (Eeek)

Really, Really, Really, Really Old Cheese...

From way back in the 50's.... Sheb Wooley (whooooooooooooooooo?) and "The Purple People Eater"...

And I really recommend having a read of the Wikipedia page about the song... especially all the stuff about is the people eater purple, or does he eat purple people! I was in fits!

Somerset Cheese...

Okay.... fighting back with some old (sorry... vintage) cheese from Julie's neck of the woods!

From 1976, a spot of The Wurzels and "Combine Harvester (Brand New Key)"... Sorry, Julie...

*Sits back smugly knowing Julie won't be able to find any Orkney Cheese*

Space Cheese

Beat this, Julie & Brian... Go on, I dares ya!

William Shatner's "interpretation" of Elton John's "Rocketman"...

Cheeeeeeeeeeese...

In response to Julie's cheese-that's-not-cheese, I'm hitting back with another TV star...

Mike Sarne (no, not him) and Wendy Richards and "Come Outside"...

How horrible to hear that Wendy has been diagnosed with terminal cancer...

A Break From The Cheese...

To give poor Julie a chance to recover from the horrible email she got at her work yesterday, compose herself, and come up with some retaliation, there will be no cheese post today (I know, I know... you're inconsolable... but hang in there, it WILL be back)...

Cheeeeeeeeeeese

Why, why, why.... did Julie & F have to beat me to Tom Jones?

Still... I think I've come up with a blinder today...

Ladles and Jellyspoons, I give you... Clive Dunn and "Grandad"...

Can You Take Any More Cheese Today?

Some Antipodean cheese for you today, in the form of Rolf Harris and "Jake The Peg"... I used to love this when I was a kid...

And a link to one of the idiots who are prepared to make a fool of themselves for the benefit of YouTube viewers (gawd bless 'em all!), this time doing the actions to Rolf's song "Court Of King Caractacus"

Go on, Julie & F... Beat that!

Diss My Cheese, Would You?

It would appear that my opponents in the Cheese War are contesting one of my choices!

Right, let's see what the grey cells can come up with today (after a day off yesterday)...

*Rummages in memorybanks and pulls out a winner*

From 1976, Showaddywaddy and "Under The Moon Of Love"...

Hot from the days when popstars looked (and danced) like your dad!

The Cheese Wars Continue...

Today's offensive takes the form of Millie and "My Boy Lollipop"...

Okay, Julie, do your worst!

Launching A Cheese Bomb!

Hoping to knock the wind out of Julie's sails a bit!

Mary Hopkin and "Those Were The Days"...

Attack!

Hmm... The War Of The Cheeses enters its second day, and already Julie is bringing out the big guns....

So we go waaaaaaaaaaaaay back to the early 70's for a bit of Middle Of The Road (where they should have been superglued!) and "Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep"...

1, 2, 3, 4....

I declare a cheese war!

It's been a long time since I've had a cheesey music battle with Julie... so let's see if she'll bite...

From 1982 (and, my god, it shows), The Mobiles (whoooooooooooooooo?) and "Drowning In Berlin"...

I don't think I knew this song before, but I was introduced to it this morning in the office... and apparently, there's an Orkney connection here - I say "apparently", because I don't know if this is right or not... It was flunky who told me, and I usually don't believe a word he tells me - So, APPARENTLY, one of the ex-members of this band is now a councillor in Orkney!

Oh, my god - I just checked it out, and it's true! He kept that quiet - well, you would, wouldn't you?

6 Days...

... 'til Viki arrives (by which time I will hopefully be better, but more about that in a bit).

Woo-hoo!

Time for another thing I'm going to inflict on the poor girl... my somewhat "eclectic" musical taste, and the fact that if I'm sat here at the computer at home, then I'll have iTunes on "shuffle", and will probably be singing along (somewhat badly) to whatever's on at that given moment.

And if it's something that is just perfect for whatever mood I'm in, or I haven't heard it for a while, or it's the soundtrack to "The Rocky Horror Picture Show", then I might even have it on repeat a few times (tonight's repeated track was "Tongue-Tied" from "Red Dwarf")... *Ahem*

I've given up trying to convince anyone (or even myself) that my mp3 player is in any way, shape, or form, credible. There was a bit in a magazine I was reading last night that was going on about various members of the editorial staff and what cheese they had on their iPods... and the more I read, the more I realised that my musical taste is dodgy to say the least. They had:

"Atmosphere" by Russ Abbot (yes, it's there, but someone sent it to me as a joke, and I've just never taken it off)
"Snooker Loopy" by Chas 'n' Dave (thankfully, no)
"Saturday Night" by Whigfield (yes, but don't know why... I hate it)
"I Breathe Again" by Adam Rickitt (ditto Chas 'n' Dave)
Assorted showtunes and music from "Fame", "Flashdance", etc (guilty as charged)
Three Enrique Iglesias tracks (fuck)
"The Ballroom Of Romance" by Chris De Burgh (no, but I do have "Don't Pay The Ferryman")
"The Final Countdown" by Europe (ditto Enrique)
All the Eurovision entries since 2003 (some) and everything recorded by Dana International (no, but I do have "Diva")
"We've Only Just Begun" by The Carpenters (no... whew, maybe there's hope for me yet?)
"Rhinestone Cowboy" by Glen Campbell (er... yes)
"Never Ending Story" by Limahl (er... I plead the 5th - I don't care if I'm not American!)
"We Don't Have To..." by Jermaine Stewart (ditto Enrique again)
Selection of old TV themes (er... zip) and "Agadoo" (thankfully, no)

But I think it's fair to say the Music Police would have me banged up for life with no hope of parole.

So, I'm filling up on cheesy songs and obscure tracks in this week before Viki comes... and, if I can shake off this cold, I'll get the bad singing along out of my system too.