Poor Viki...
Now it's just about a week until she arrives, her flight is booked and paid for, she's given up her job, told her landlord she's leaving... basically, now it's too late for her to change her mind... I feel I can let her know some of what she's letting herself in for sharing a house with me for longer than a week when I'm not being on my best behaviour!
I'll reveal some over the next few days, starting with...
Er... I'm a not terribly good cook!
Tonight I've had another go making fudge (my third attempt... with a different recipe), and it was fraught with hassles...
I started off with it in too small a pot - and before I even got the condensed milk added, it had boiled over on to the cooker, so I had to transfer it into a bigger pot (transferring the tatties and cauliflower that was in it into a smaller pot - and, yes, I did wash the bigger pot before I put the fudge into it!)
Then there was Minnie the cat driving me crazy as I was trying to "stir continuously for 15 minutes", wanting food, and water, and god knows what else the little pain in the neck wanted!
Then - and this is a valuable lesson - after you've scraped the pot, and all the fudge is in the baking tray... DON'T LICK THE SPOON... not even with the very tip of your tongue - coz it's fucking hot!
And once I got it done (and I still don't know if it's worked or not), I made my dinner... the tatties & cauliflower I stuck in a dish, covered with cheese sauce (out of a packet, and that was almost a disaster too, because I didn't use enough milk to start with, and it went like cement, until I added a stack more milk and stirred like buggery), and then grated cheese, and then stuck it in the oven... but it wasn't the "potato and cauliflower cheese bake" that I had envisaged in my mind... and I fried a couple of pork supremes... except when I put one on my plate, and cut it in half, it was just short of being cooked right through - so I chopped them up, stuck them back in the pan, and gave them another blast until they were closer to burnt!
Plus the bloody things were sparking all over me, and the cat was going demented because she wanted one... and I was hot, stressed, and getting burnt by pinpricks of hot oil... and expecting the smoke detector to go off at any moment!
So, first bit of advice for Viki... bring plenty of indigestion tablets! Or, become chief cook, and I'll be bottle washer!
I'll reveal some over the next few days, starting with...
Er... I'm a not terribly good cook!
Tonight I've had another go making fudge (my third attempt... with a different recipe), and it was fraught with hassles...
I started off with it in too small a pot - and before I even got the condensed milk added, it had boiled over on to the cooker, so I had to transfer it into a bigger pot (transferring the tatties and cauliflower that was in it into a smaller pot - and, yes, I did wash the bigger pot before I put the fudge into it!)
Then there was Minnie the cat driving me crazy as I was trying to "stir continuously for 15 minutes", wanting food, and water, and god knows what else the little pain in the neck wanted!
Then - and this is a valuable lesson - after you've scraped the pot, and all the fudge is in the baking tray... DON'T LICK THE SPOON... not even with the very tip of your tongue - coz it's fucking hot!
And once I got it done (and I still don't know if it's worked or not), I made my dinner... the tatties & cauliflower I stuck in a dish, covered with cheese sauce (out of a packet, and that was almost a disaster too, because I didn't use enough milk to start with, and it went like cement, until I added a stack more milk and stirred like buggery), and then grated cheese, and then stuck it in the oven... but it wasn't the "potato and cauliflower cheese bake" that I had envisaged in my mind... and I fried a couple of pork supremes... except when I put one on my plate, and cut it in half, it was just short of being cooked right through - so I chopped them up, stuck them back in the pan, and gave them another blast until they were closer to burnt!
Plus the bloody things were sparking all over me, and the cat was going demented because she wanted one... and I was hot, stressed, and getting burnt by pinpricks of hot oil... and expecting the smoke detector to go off at any moment!
So, first bit of advice for Viki... bring plenty of indigestion tablets! Or, become chief cook, and I'll be bottle washer!
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