I Can Has Shawked House?

moar funny pictures

What were those bears doing?

Poor Viki...

Now it's just about a week until she arrives, her flight is booked and paid for, she's given up her job, told her landlord she's leaving... basically, now it's too late for her to change her mind... I feel I can let her know some of what she's letting herself in for sharing a house with me for longer than a week when I'm not being on my best behaviour!

I'll reveal some over the next few days, starting with...

Er... I'm a not terribly good cook!

Tonight I've had another go making fudge (my third attempt... with a different recipe), and it was fraught with hassles...

I started off with it in too small a pot - and before I even got the condensed milk added, it had boiled over on to the cooker, so I had to transfer it into a bigger pot (transferring the tatties and cauliflower that was in it into a smaller pot - and, yes, I did wash the bigger pot before I put the fudge into it!)

Then there was Minnie the cat driving me crazy as I was trying to "stir continuously for 15 minutes", wanting food, and water, and god knows what else the little pain in the neck wanted!

Then - and this is a valuable lesson - after you've scraped the pot, and all the fudge is in the baking tray... DON'T LICK THE SPOON... not even with the very tip of your tongue - coz it's fucking hot!

And once I got it done (and I still don't know if it's worked or not), I made my dinner... the tatties & cauliflower I stuck in a dish, covered with cheese sauce (out of a packet, and that was almost a disaster too, because I didn't use enough milk to start with, and it went like cement, until I added a stack more milk and stirred like buggery), and then grated cheese, and then stuck it in the oven... but it wasn't the "potato and cauliflower cheese bake" that I had envisaged in my mind... and I fried a couple of pork supremes... except when I put one on my plate, and cut it in half, it was just short of being cooked right through - so I chopped them up, stuck them back in the pan, and gave them another blast until they were closer to burnt!

Plus the bloody things were sparking all over me, and the cat was going demented because she wanted one... and I was hot, stressed, and getting burnt by pinpricks of hot oil... and expecting the smoke detector to go off at any moment!

So, first bit of advice for Viki... bring plenty of indigestion tablets! Or, become chief cook, and I'll be bottle washer!

Yippee! Hooray! Woo-Hoo!

and other such celebratory exclamations... For today things in Operation Get-Viki-Here took a step forward at both ends (ow! sounds painful!).

Starting with Viki telling her boss this morning of her intention to quit (if she was going to do this sooner, rather than later, she had to do it before the school year started)... and her boss took it surprisingly well, she said. He's going to tell her this week when she can go, but it looks like it's either going to be about the 15th of September, or the end of it - Compared to if she didn't come over now, then the earliest she could come would be June next year.

Then I spoke to the council to see if they could give me a provisional "yes" or "no" as to whether or not it would be okay for Viki to come and kip on the sofa (in case it was deemed "over-crowding"), and they said they'd send me an application to fill out, but they "didn't think it would be a problem".

Then Viki got what she's been waiting for from the bank!

I've not quite got the champagne (okay, fizzy plonk) on ice yet, but it will be here waiting for her arrival!

I Can See Clearly Now...

...I've washed my windows!

Yep, I've had to admit defeat and get the squeegee out, so at least the Window Gestapo (the little old ladies who take their constitutionals of an evening, and give my windows an inspection as they go past) and my brother will be silenced for a week or 3 until they get all stoorie again.

And that's my cleaning task for tonight, because I was as wet as the windows by the time I'd finished, and my leg was beginning to sting a bit (it is getting better, slowly, but it does still nip sometimes... it's still being seen by the nurse twice a week, and at the moment I'm on another week of antibiotics, but only 1 kind this time, and only one 3 times a day).

So, that's about it for just now.

The Clean-Up Has Started!

Now, let's get this in proportion... my house isn't a tip... it's just that there are 3 or 4 boxes of "important but not that important" stuff behind the couch that had to be sorted to either be dumped or put up in the attic... and 2 or 3 bags of old clothes that had to be sorted into "throw out" or "give a good wash to freshen up and put back in the cupboard" - and both those jobs have now been done, having put them off since I moved in.

Really the rest of it is surface dressing... hoover all the cat hairs from the corners, get the purple hair dye off the windowsill in the bathroom (any suggestions?), wash the bloody windows, hoover the cat hairs off the couch and chairs (bloody cats), and hide anything I don't want Viki to see!

Lol... one of those "bloody cats" has taken up residence at my right elbow and has been sat there washing herself all the time I've been chatting to Viki. I can't be pissed off at her though, because she's so cute!

Oh, our beloved leader has returned to us once more... for how long, we don't know... but at the moment, the inmates are no longer running the asylum!

How Far...

... down the toilet does my life have to go before it starts coming up again?

There's a lot going on that I've not been telling you - or anyone, really - about, but now I'm going to unburden... Don't worry, I'm not expecting anyone to have any answers, or even to read this... I'm just letting loose.

Firstly, there's what's awaiting me tomorrow morning. 9am I've got a meeting with the Citizens Advice Bureau to start the procedure to declare myself bankrupt. The repayment plan I set up never really worked, and was eventually revoked, and so this is the next logical step. I've thought long and hard about it, but it's all I can do. I can't risk setting up another scheme because there's a lot of uncertainty job-wise (and has been for months, but I thought it was over - alas, no), and I don't know what's going to happen to me. It does mean, though, that when Dad's will is sorted out, I'm probably going to have to hand over most, if not all of my share, to the money-grabbers... after I was the one left at home and unable to go off to college or anything because my parents needed me! Being born last, to older parents, really sucks!

Then there's the fact I've had a little 10p-sized sore bit (I say sore, but it's not really... it's just been weeping a bit) on my leg for the last few weeks, and I've been keeping dressings on it - changing them every day. But now the sticky bit of the dressings have irritated the skin all around the original wound, and it's all red and weeping even worse than the wound (since yesterday really... last night when I went to bed, the inside of the leg of my breeks was wet - and that's the first time that's happened). Don't really want to go to the doctor, because my practice is closed at the moment, and when I had to go to the temporary cover a while back, they were worse than useless.

Plus, yesterday and today I've had a stinking cough again... Sometimes it's a real struggle to stop coughing long enough to get a breath in. But, again, I don't want to go to the other doctors... plus, the boss is away a few days this week, so I'd really be struggling to get away for an appointment.

Oh, and last night the cats excelled themselves in the "pissing me off" stakes. I've had 3 days with no piss behind the door, so was starting to rest on my laurels a bit. Went to bed after a bad day and depressed evening, without turning on the light... climbed into bed, threw the sheet over the top of me - and something cold and icky landed on my leg! Immediately squealed and chucked it off me, then got up and turned on the light to see what it was - One of the cats had had a furball, and upchucked it on my oversheet! So I had to haul off the sheet and put the quilt back on again.

Hey, at least my lovely wee house is still making me happy (even if I haven't been able to get curtains or curtain rails for it yet... only nets held up with drawing pins). However, I'm a bit pissed off, because since I moved in, only one of my family has actually been along to see where I live now... I've not even had a "Good Luck In Your New House" card from the rest!

But on the up side, it's less than 2 months til Viki comes over from Hungary to visit. I'm really looking forward to showing her around and just having a laugh.

Well, I think that's all the crap off my chest, so I'll bugger off now.

It's Tuesday Night... It's Half Past Nine...

It's Crackerjack! (Go on... you know you want to...)

Okay, so it's not Crackerjack (target audience reference there) - What it is, in fact, is the very first blog post from my new house!!!!

Yes, the phone line issue got sorted, the broadband got arranged, and now I can stop putting in all those (unpaid) "extra hours" at work... because I am back in cyberspace from home! Woo and indeed Hoo!

Oh, heck... since this is a first, I should really have said something auspicious (no, that's not a typo... I didn't really mean to type "suspicious"). Let's see... can I claw this back and share something pithy and amusing with you?















Er... that'll be a "No" then!

Oh, well - new house... same old tripe...

Wrll, I'vr Had A Peoductivr Aftrenoon...

It's brrn so boeing hrer at woek this aftrenoon that I'vr ersoetrd to clraning my drsk - rvrn taking all thr krys off my kryboaed and clraning thrm individually.

Hang on... somrthing's not eight hrer... Oh, buggre... I know what I'vr donr...

*Swaps the "E" and "R" keys the right way round*

Hello? There... That's better!

Yes, as I was saying (or trying to) - I finally had enough of the boss complaining that my desk was needing cleaned (you should see his! Except you can't - not for all the piles of paper that's on it!), that I washed it, everything on it - even taking all the keys off my keyboard and polishing them with some evil-smelling foam stuff for cleaning office equipment... and now it feels really strange to type on it!

Well, you've not had a general waffle post from me for quite some time, have you? That's mainly because I've not really had anything worth generally waffling about. Work's been generally boring... except we've got a new part-time member of "staff" at the moment... a furry one... The boss has just got a new dog - not a puppy, she's about 7 months old... and she's gorgeous! She's a samoyed, and is just like a huge teddy, or a sheepskin rug on legs. As distractions go, she's pretty cute. At the moment, they can't really leave her at home alone, so when the boss' wife is at work too, the dog comes to us. My cats aren't that impressed though when I go home smelling of dog!

Weather's still bonny here - very rare for May. That's a good couple of weeks we've had now without rain. Hope we don't pay for this in July & August... especially August when Viki's here... Really don't want rain then, thank you very much!

Still loving the new house. Still not got very much further unpacking and things, but most of the boxes down behind my couch are to go up in the attic, and I need a big, strong man to help with that.

And that's really it.

Well, it's half past 4 now, and we've been shut for half an hour (we close at 4pm on a Saturday now), so I'm going to bugger off and get a coffee, have a wander round the shops, and then home.

I'll probably end up watching The Eurovision Song Contest tonight - yes, I am that sad! Come on... United Kingdom, Nul Points... PLEASE!

Okay... See ya laters!



ps. I hadn't REALLY put the "E" & "R" keys on the wrong way around... that was just for comic effect!

I LOVE BT!!!!

Update to my previous rant about the phone line fiasco at the new house:

Somehow or other, my brother managed to find out what the phone number for the line, but that was no help, because there was a bar on outgoing AND incoming calls, and it brought us no nearer to finding out who the line was held by.

Well, I was at work today, and the boss said "I got a message for you last night... Tell Alison to get the bloody phone line at her old house cancelled, because we're moving in there soon, and we can't get our phone sorted out!" (I hadn't cancelled the old one yet, because I didn't want to lose my old number... and it's a pal of the boss who is moving in).

So I decided I would give up... I would just cancel the line at the old house, lose the number, and sort out the new line at a later date.

After work, I phoned BT... and got a really pleasant surprise (once I'd finally got through to customer services) - I spoke to a really nice woman (Margaret, you're a star!), told her I had to cancel the old house line, but that I had wanted to transfer the number, only to be told that I had to get a new line put in the new house - for which they'd charge me £125.... She did a bit of checking on the account, and informed me that whatever the problem with the new house was, it had been sorted, and my old number could be transferred, and no £125 charge... and they would cancel the line at the old house within the next 7 days.

All it's going to cost me is a one or two week overlap on line rental... and I can live with that!

Venturing Forth...

Harriet: That's right... You go ahead. I'll be out in a minute...

Harriet: Heh, sucker! This is far enough for me!

Minnie meets a local...

Harriet has a stare battle with another local (you can just see a white moggy up the far end of the planks)...

One Small Step For 2 Cats...

One Giant Leap For Catkind!

Both cats have been out today... wandering about at the back, sniffing around in corners, disappearing under sheds, meeting the local cat population (the phrase "Mexican Standoff" springs to mind... it was like watching an old western as the 2 honchos size each other up to see who's going to crack and draw their gun first), and generally exploring the area at the back of the house.

I've not seen Minnie so excited in a long time... I got cold, so came in and left them sniffing around, and Minnie kept coming running in, jumping up on the desk where I was pottering on the computer - her tail quivering - so she could "tell" me what she was seeing! It was like "Mummy... mummy... come and see...! There's this shed out there... I've been under it! And paving stones for me to roll on...! Come and watch me roll, mummy! Come on!" It was so funny!

And they came in no bother, and didn't head for the road this time!

This Week's "Arseholes Of The Week" Award....

... goes to those gits at BT who are messing me about over trying to get my phone number transferred to the new house!

I phoned them before I actually moved and explained that I was moving, and needed to transfer my phone number to the new house, and to get it ready for Broadband as well... at which point they informed me that the previous tenant hadn't notified them that he was leaving, so they'd have to get in contact with him to get his authorisation, and that would take 10 days.

So I explained to them that he'd been evicted, and the house had been empty for at least a month... And they told me to get the council (as landlords) to contact them and explain this, and they would cancel the line. Then, 24 hours later, I could contact them and set up the transfer.

So, I did this... and when I phoned BT later, they told me that the previous tenant had opted out of BT's line rental... so I would have to get in touch with the company that the ex-tenant was with ("Plug in a phone and dial 150, madam... That will connect you through to the company"), and ask them to return the line to BT.

Finally got a shot of a phone last night (my cordless one is in a box somewhere... probably in the attic), and tried dialing 150 this morning... and all I got was "The number has not been recognised".

So I phoned BT again, and they informed me that the line was still active, and was with another provider... but that it wasn't a case of finding out who and getting it handed back over - oh, no... I would have to pay £125 to get a new BT line put in! This despite the fact that there's an active line in the house already!

There's no fucking way I can afford to pay £125 for a phone line - especially one that's there already! And why should I when it's not my fault that the stupid ex-tenant decided to pay his line rental to someone other than BT!?

This is a major pain in the arse, because until I get a phone line, I can't get Sky sorted out, or my Broadband!

So, congratulations British Telecom on winning "Arseholes Of The Week"!

My Brave Girl!

I was washing my windows last night, and had the back door open, when Harriet appeared... She peeped out the door, saw I was out there, and tentatively came out - and that was her... she spotted the steps up from my little paved area to the lane behind the house that goes down to the road - and she was away, heading straight towards (yep, you guessed it) the road!

Thankfully, her attention was diverted at the last minute by the gardens and other houses on the lane, and she had a sniff around in them instead... before coming around behind someone's shed (the area at the back of the house is hard to describe... there's kind of a communal triangular grass area with sheds and things, and then some folk have peedie gardens, and there are houses up the one side... and the backs of houses up the other), having her first al fresco pee for a couple of weeks, and coming back in for her tea!

She was really intent on exploring... no real fear at all - It was ME that was the nervous, gibbering wreck!

No sign of Minnie wanting out yet... which is really weird, because she's usually the one who loves to explore and is first to want out!

Moving Pictures...

Gus, my plant (he's an AsparaGUS fern), has got a new home, and he loves it!

The black lump in the middle of this photo is Minnie in her new favourite spot... the back of the sofa. Well, actually, her SECOND favourite spot... Her favourite spot is MY seat of the sofa!

Moving Pictures...

The living room is beginning to look more "lived in" and less "lived in by a commune of hippies", as you can see by the corner where my computer desk sits...

However, behind the sofa lurk a multitude of boxes and crap still...

And I've got a new friend... She was out the back one night when I went to put out my rubbish. As she headed towards the back door, I managed to intercept and speak to her... Then I went in, and an hour later I went through to the kitchen, and she was still outside meowing!

And she came back a couple of nights later!

Moving Stories... Back Up To Date...

First full day back at work today.

Woke up and debated walking to work - but the lure of an extra 20 minutes in bed, and a leisurely getting ready, were too strong, so I got a taxi. That said, I was actually at work 10 minutes EARLY! I don't know... there's just something about getting up in a nice, warm, new house that makes getting up more pleasant.

Not much else to tell you, really. So I guess I'll bugger off and have a look at one or two other blogs while I'm waiting for my brother to arrive because we're going to Lidl to do a quick shop. Might see if I can buy something cheap and cheerful for the house.

Catch you soon (probably tomorrow after work, when I'll be misusing the office computer again)... God, it kills being without internet! No SausageNet, no blogging, no Orkney Forums - I'm missing out on all the fun and gossip!

Moving Stories... The Last Few Days...

Forgot to say, I got my mattress, sofa and chair delivered "yesterday" (yep, still on catch-up), so at least I had a comfier sleep last night, and have somewhere to sit!

Now, if only I actually had TIME to sit!

Sorted a pile of boxes this morning, and I've actually got the living room almost livable... shame the bedroom still looks like a bomb-site... and there are a lot of boxes still hidden behind the couch in the living room.

Cats are coming out of the corners a bit... Harriet's even been in the window-sill, peeping out at the world going by. And they're eating now, which is good. They're still very clingy - wherever I am, that's where they are!

Cursing all the utility providers - without boring you silly with the ins and outs of the various telephone conversations and / or visits I've had with satellite providers, BT, bank, post office, etc. I am still without phone, internet (hence using the work computer to blog) and Sky, and I can't get my mail re-directed as quickly as I'd like!

Honestly, take my word for it... Never move house!

(That said... I'm still glad I've moved. I don't miss the old house at all. This is finally a space that's MINE, without any unpleasant memories associated with it).

Moving Stories... The Last Few Days...

Had to go into work for an hour "this" morning (remember, it's really Thursday), to do the wages.

Then back to the boxes and chaos - after firstly going to the furniture store to book a mattress and a sofa and chair (not the one I'd originally booked, but this one's much nicer), then to the council to hand in my keys to the old house, and one or two (more like twenty or thirty) other things I had to do...

Cats still freaked out - I'm a little worried, because they've hardly eaten anything since yesterday morning. There's a lot of traffic passes the house, and they jump every time a car goes by... if they're not hiding under a table, or behind a box, or down behind a pile of bags... Poor Moggies!

Managed to get one more day off work tomorrow, but them I'm back on Thursday.

Moving Stories... The Last Few Days...

Yep, it's not really Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday (as you might have guessed if you'd spotted a glut of posts all arriving at one time) - It's Thursday, and I'm abusing the computer at work in order to get caught up with some blogging and keep you posted on how things are going / have gone...

So, we'll start with Monday - D Day...

And it was utter chaos! People coming to take furniture away... then coming back to take furniture I was keeping down to the new house... family coming to collect boxes of ornaments and / or books to be stored and sorted out later... then several runs with boxes and bags of all the stuff that was coming with me...

Got down to the new house myself for the first time about 9pm, and gasped in horror at what I found...

I'd reserved a bed and a sofa and chair from the council Furniture Store (donated items which are then done up and available to buy at very reasonable prices) - and the base of my bed had been delivered... but no mattress or headboard! And the sofa and chair hadn't been delivered at all!

Now, bear in mind that this is after 9o'clock at night, and absolutely nothing can be done about it!

Anyway... back up to the old house for the last run to grab the last couple of things - and the cats! Now, Harriet had appeared about 6pm, and we'd trapped her inside, but Minnie only turned up at 10pm when we arrived back. Managed to chuck them both in cat carriers and zoom down to the new house.

Spent half the night on the living room floor, surrounded by boxes, before aches and pains forced me into a kind of half-sitting, half-sprawled arrangement in my computer chair for the rest of the night, huddled under a single duvet, with 2 terrified and seriously freaked-out cats around me!

Not a lot of sleep was had, that's for sure.

Oh, and I've had to have my poor cockatiel, Paddy, re-homed... sob.

Back To It...

I'm just taking a short break to blog, and now back to packing boxes... BOXES! AAARGH! I'm surrounded by the bloody things... I swear they're breeding!

If I'm not heard of for a while, I'll be packed in a box somewhere!