Lest We Forget...

They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We will remember them. - Laurence Binyon

Today was, of course, Armistice Day... and the 90th anniversary of the end of World War 1 - "The War To End All Wars" - I hope you observed the 2 minute silence wherever you were.

Now, I didn't lose any close family in the wars, but my late father served in Burma during World War 2, and I am immensely proud of him and what he endured to make the world a better place (at least, that's what those brave men and women hoped).

I've posted a couple of photos and a wee bit about him on my photo blog, as a personal tribute... see here.

Cheque It In, Cheque It Out...

Today should have been a bit exciting, and a relief to me... I got a text from my brother this morning to say that he had got a cheque from the lawyers for his share of Dad's estate, and that mine would probably be waiting at home for me.

Now, it's not a HUGE inheritance, but it would have been enough to buy a new cooker to replace my 15-odd-year-old one that trips out my entire fuseboard if I turn on the small ring at the front, and to allow a cushion for emergencies while my bankruptcy (which is in progress) means that I can't get credit of any form... But I still had to report it to the Trustees over-seeing my application... which I did almost as soon as I heard.

And what did they say?

"We'll have that, thank you very much!"

So, in short, I won't get a penny.

Poor Dad... He would be so disappointed. He was so careful with his money, not treating himself to anything apart from a rifle among the books in the second-hand shops for so many years so that he had some money put aside to make sure his children were taken care of when he was no longer around (although none of us are "children" anymore)... and now it's all been such a waste. I wish he and Mum had spent the money on themselves and enjoyed it, and not this. I would rather have been left nothing but a couple of ornaments or a book of Dad's to remember them by.

I'm sorry, Dad.

Funeral Blues...

Well, today was my auntie's funeral and, as usual with family events in our family, we all pulled together and supported each other - not!

One of my siblings (who doesn't speak to 2 of the others, seems to have developed a problem with another one, and seems to be giving me the bum's rush at the moment too) has moved away (still within easy travelling distance from Orkney), and didn't even come home for their auntie's (who they spent most of their life living right next door to) funeral. Their reason? They were feeling "left out".

Then there's the sibling who doesn't get on with me ever since just before Mum died (even though the bust-up was "forgiven and forgotten" on both sides when Dad was in hospital in Aberdeen). Today they barely acknowledged my presence (mind you, that's not unusual).

I wasn't really included in the funeral party this time (not being required to be a pall-bearer or anything), and I actually felt very over-looked... like my grief wasn't as strong as those older than me, because I hadn't "known" my auntie so long. As a for-instance, the undertaker shook hands with the other nephews and nieces at the graveside... but not me.

Okay, she's only been my auntie for 35 years, not over 50 like in some cases... but that doesn't make me any less sad...

Anyway, enough of my diatribe...

The funeral service was lovely, no fuss, no big show (my auntie was very quiet and didn't like a big deal made of birthdays or anything)... just family and some of the people who had worked with her over the years... And the weather stayed nice for the burial.

R.I.P. Auntie Jo... I'll miss you...

Sorry, Auntie Jo!

A couple of photos of my Auntie Jo, who passed away a couple of days ago, aged 93.

Why "Sorry"? Cause woe betide you if you were spotted even working with a camera in her prescence! She HATED getting her photo taken!

These were taken a few years ago by my brother - He must have managed to sneakily take them without her knowing...

First is her sat in her chair, local newspaper on her knee, and cup of tea beside her:

And then, in my brother's car on a run out with her "peedie" brother, my dad... now sadly passed away as well...

R.I.P. Auntie Jo...

Who passed away today, peacefully, and with some of her nieces and nephews around her (not me... I visited a couple of nights ago, and when my brother texted me this morning to say he'd been phoned by the hospital and told that she didn't have long, I decided that I couldn't be there watching every breath to see if that was her last - maybe that's selfish, I don't know).

My brother phoned about 45 minutes ago to tell me she was gone and, as he said, it doesn't seem real yet.

Auntie Jo (or Joanna, to give her her correct name) was 93 and, up until comparatively recently, was healthy (possibly down to all the "lotions and potions" she loved), independent (she was never married), hard-working, and - when we were growing up - she was a solace and a hiding place when we were in trouble with Mum & Dad (until I was 10 years old, we lived right next door to her).

She had a great sense of humour... I remember Mum saying that once they were standing out at the front of Auntie's house, and a young couple walked past, hand in hand. Auntie said, "That's a newly-wed couple." Mum said, "How do you know that?" and Auntie replied:

"Because give it 6 months and there will be about 3 miles between them"!

And then my sister tells of how she used to put on her record of "The Ying Tong Song", or whatever, and turn it up REALLY LOUD... only for it to be matched by the sounds of "The Old Rugged Cross" coming from next door!

There are so many other stories I could tell you about her, and so much more I could say, but I'll leave it at that for the moment.

Goodbye, Auntie Jo... I'll miss you... X

Time For Bed...

Long past time, in fact... I've twice almost bounced my head off the keyboard because I've nodded off. So I'm offski...

But guess what?

I'VE GOT A DAY OFF TOMORROW! I'm actually going to have a 2-day weekend!

The boss is back now, and he's finally seen that I need some more time off. So I was only supposed to be working from 12 noon til 4pm tomorrow, and off altogether next Saturday... but he needs me more next week, so I got a text saying I didn't need to come in tomorrow! Woo-hoo!

Long lie for me, I think... followed by a leisurely afternoon window shopping (trying to save some pennies), and a DVD and a beer or two at night... oh, and a Starbucks latte after the window shopping (not trying to save THAT many pennies).

Oh, a plea... My 93 year old auntie (she'd kill me if she knew I'd told her age) is in hospital. She's very poorly, and the doctors are saying it's just a matter of time. We've had this happen before, and last time she amazed everyone by rallying (that was about Christmas last year, I think) and has been fine since, until now. But the docs are very pessimistic this time.

So please ask your god(s) for healing for her if it's not her time to go yet, or for a peaceful, pain-free end if it is... Her name's Joanna, or Jo.

Thanks.

Goodnight...

Spooky!

Now, I'm not psychic, and I'm not overly convinced by people who accept without question things like orbs, "noises", and things like that... I'm not saying I don't believe in ghosts, the afterlife, and strange phenomena - just that when someone tells me "I've got the gift", I tend to think "Aye, right...(!)"

But I can't explain what happened to me this afternoon... Now, maybe I'm totally wrong about this, so don't think "Ooo... that's amazing" until I can find out if there is a family connection here or not.

As I sometimes do on a Sunday afternoon, I was wandering around the graveyard of St Magnus Cathedral (this time testing out my new digital camera taking some photos), and I spotted a broken gravestone not far off the path I was walking down. I thought "It's such a shame to see broken stones like that... I wonder who that one belongs to?" and walked over to have a look at the name...

"Erected to the memory of Mary Tulloch", I said, reading it aloud to myself, "wife of John Ritchie..." - now, at this point, my jaw just about hit the ground... you see, my Dad's Dad was John Ritchie... and he was married before he married my Granny (I never knew either my paternal Grandfather or Grandmother, as both died before I was born)... but I carried on reading - "died 5th July, 1899, aged 39"...

(If you click on the photo, you'll get a bigger version of it that should be legible... It's not great quality, I'm afraid, because my camera battery had died by that point and I had to resort to the camera on my phone).

I kind of dismissed it at this point, thinking that my Grandad wouldn't have been old enough to marry at that time, because he only died in the 1950's... until I met my brother and told him about it. He said our Granddad was born in 1866... so, in 1899 he would have been 33... and could conceivably have married a woman 6 years older than him. And Granddad's first wife was from one of the North Isles of Orkney (Sanday, we think) - and Tulloch is quite a common name there, I think...

I wish I knew what Granddad's first wife's name was, but I don't know who to ask, because I think all the first family are dead now...

I was a little bit more spooked out because as I was looking at the gravestone in wonderment, I was sure I could hear a cat meowing somewhere close by, but I couldn't see one!

I'm still a little flipped out by this, because I really can't tell you why I was attracted to that particular broken stone (it's an old graveyard, not actively used any more, and there are any number of broken stones around)... and it was only last month that my brother took me out to the "new" graveyard for Kirkwall and showed me where Dad's parents' grave was... and we were wondering aloud where his first wife was buried!

Maybe we've just found out!?

How Far...

... down the toilet does my life have to go before it starts coming up again?

There's a lot going on that I've not been telling you - or anyone, really - about, but now I'm going to unburden... Don't worry, I'm not expecting anyone to have any answers, or even to read this... I'm just letting loose.

Firstly, there's what's awaiting me tomorrow morning. 9am I've got a meeting with the Citizens Advice Bureau to start the procedure to declare myself bankrupt. The repayment plan I set up never really worked, and was eventually revoked, and so this is the next logical step. I've thought long and hard about it, but it's all I can do. I can't risk setting up another scheme because there's a lot of uncertainty job-wise (and has been for months, but I thought it was over - alas, no), and I don't know what's going to happen to me. It does mean, though, that when Dad's will is sorted out, I'm probably going to have to hand over most, if not all of my share, to the money-grabbers... after I was the one left at home and unable to go off to college or anything because my parents needed me! Being born last, to older parents, really sucks!

Then there's the fact I've had a little 10p-sized sore bit (I say sore, but it's not really... it's just been weeping a bit) on my leg for the last few weeks, and I've been keeping dressings on it - changing them every day. But now the sticky bit of the dressings have irritated the skin all around the original wound, and it's all red and weeping even worse than the wound (since yesterday really... last night when I went to bed, the inside of the leg of my breeks was wet - and that's the first time that's happened). Don't really want to go to the doctor, because my practice is closed at the moment, and when I had to go to the temporary cover a while back, they were worse than useless.

Plus, yesterday and today I've had a stinking cough again... Sometimes it's a real struggle to stop coughing long enough to get a breath in. But, again, I don't want to go to the other doctors... plus, the boss is away a few days this week, so I'd really be struggling to get away for an appointment.

Oh, and last night the cats excelled themselves in the "pissing me off" stakes. I've had 3 days with no piss behind the door, so was starting to rest on my laurels a bit. Went to bed after a bad day and depressed evening, without turning on the light... climbed into bed, threw the sheet over the top of me - and something cold and icky landed on my leg! Immediately squealed and chucked it off me, then got up and turned on the light to see what it was - One of the cats had had a furball, and upchucked it on my oversheet! So I had to haul off the sheet and put the quilt back on again.

Hey, at least my lovely wee house is still making me happy (even if I haven't been able to get curtains or curtain rails for it yet... only nets held up with drawing pins). However, I'm a bit pissed off, because since I moved in, only one of my family has actually been along to see where I live now... I've not even had a "Good Luck In Your New House" card from the rest!

But on the up side, it's less than 2 months til Viki comes over from Hungary to visit. I'm really looking forward to showing her around and just having a laugh.

Well, I think that's all the crap off my chest, so I'll bugger off now.

Since My Last Visit...

Christmas Eve...

I was working in the shop til 3pm, which was busier than I expected it to be. Really, can't you shoppers get everything organised so you're not still trying to buy presents & stuff at the VERY - LAST - MINUTE - POSSIBLE? (That said, my brother & I did dash to the supermarket 10 minutes before they closed). I did a little bit of experimental cooking, in that I made meatloaf for the first time - spicing it up a little by adding a packet of apricot & nut stuffing mix. It turned out okay, but it would have been better if I'd got steak mince (but there was none left in the supermarket 10 minutes before closing time, funnily enough). Oh - Jilly (if you still read my blog occasionally) - I've had another hot water bottle disaster! The cheap one I bought a month ago (remember, the second one I had to buy because the first one didn't let enough heat through?) sprung a leak at the neck overnight... so I've had to go and buy ANOTHER one (not £3 this time), and the cheap one is in the bin! :^(

Christmas Day...

Watched "Noel's Christmas Presents" in the morning (which made me cry). Did the rounds visiting with my brother in the afternoon - went to see our Auntie and then to visit our sister & brother-in-law - before going back to my brother's for a yummy Christmas dinner. Didn't watch much on telly, only "Doctor Who" (which was hmm... okay... but not THAT "special" a Christmas Special) - was it just me, or was there really a lot of crap on TV this year? Thanks to Scott & Julie and Nev for their presents - Nev, the calendars will be well displayed, and Scott & Julie, I'll try not to kill the crocus bulbs...

Boxing Day...

Erm... I slept. Watched a little bit of telly, had a couple of slices of meatloaf, and slept a lot.

Today...

Back at work, but only til 4pm (erm, except it's now 20 to 5, and I'm still at the office... but I'm buggering off now).

Ta-ra!

Head And Foot...

That's what's hurt today... My head, coz it was my first day back at college, settling down to do the other unit of my SVQ (like NVQs, but Scottish) Accounting, Level 3 qualification... this time dealing with Financial Accounts (P&L, Balance Sheet, etc), rather than Costing Accounts, which the exam I just passed was dealing with. It's a pain, because the way the terms work out, and when the exams are, means that the exam for this unit is on 5th December (NOT long away), and then those sitting the Costing Accounts exam have from January to June to revise for it!

So, because we've got so much to pack in learning-wise, we went through the first FIVE chapters of the book in just about 2 hours today!

There is one positive (which would be an asset if my life were a business, so would be on the DEBIT side of my accounts... lol), there is a very good-looking piece of male eye-candy in the class to gaze at if I get bored! (I'm saying no more than that!).

And foot ache came about because I stuck on a pair of boots today that I've not worn in ages... and I discovered why as I was walking down from college... as the balls of my feet started to burn and get sore, and my toes got squashed up, and by the time I got to the shop, I really was in agony! But I had to go on the rest of the day, on my feet in the shop (boss said I had to stay down there and serve so that shopgirl could get a huge order that had arrived sorted and priced without getting disturbed).

So those boots will very swiftly get The Boot... straight into the bin, and I'll go back to my trusty Crocs (even if they are getting smooth on the bottoms so that if you wear them in the rain, there is the tendency to go aqua-planing every so often!).

Paid a visit with my brother to see my Auntie in the Residential Home this evening... I've not seen her for a few months now, with one thing and another, but she's looking pretty good... certainly much better than when she and Dad were in the hospital together, and things looked very bleak for her for a while.

Well, I think that's just about all, so I'll bugger off...

Aaaaargh!!!!

Radio 1 has just played the new Foo Fighters song for the first time, after building up to it for a couple of days - and I missed it, coz my fucking sister phoned just at the very second the opening chords struck up!

I caught about the last 20 seconds!

What sixth sense does she have that allows her to do that EVERY GODDAMN TIME!? It's like if there's a scary or crucial bit in a film, that's when she'll phone... and always for no real reason!

She's a witch!!!!

So, did anyone hear the song? Is it good?

Do You (Photo)Copy?

Oh, how I wish our shopgirl had said "No" when one particular customer asked her that question!

Someone came in with some leaflets that they wanted copied yesterday. "What's the problem?" I hear you cry? Well, she went off to T In The Park today, and the customer wanted A LOT of copying done. How much is a lot? Try 8 different double sided A4 leaflets - 300 copies of each! Shopgirl managed to get 2 sets done yesterday, leaving me 1800 leaflets to copy today!

Then factor into that the fact that 2 of the cartridge things in our copier ran out, meaning that the machine just stopped each time... and some bright spark hadn't ordered a replacement black toner cartridge last time it ran out, so we had to find another company with the same copier as us and beg to nick one of their's until we can get more delivered!

Then factor into that that today was HOT, and a photocopier running flat out adds a few degrees, and the heating we have to keep on so that our paper doesn't get damp adds a few degrees, and the copier adds a lot of noise...

Then factor in that every time someone came in wanting other copying or printing done, I had to stop the leaflets and do their stuff... and everyone seemed to want difficult copying done... and then complained that our copier didn't do a good enough job...

Then factor into that that folk came in when I was trying to change the cartridges, or waiting for the boss to track down one from one of our neighbours, and were grumpy coz they couldn't get their copying done RIGHT AWAY... and either tutted and walked out again, or stood and tutted as I tried to figure out how to change the damn cartridge, and then moaned that the copy was too light/too dark/too big/too small... you name it.

Finally, add social workers stressing me out... a certain family member who is over-reacting to something I did and grumped at me tonight... and everything else, and I've had a BAD day!