"The fairies only left Orkney when folk stopped seekin' them" - Anonymous Orcadian
"Never be afraid to seek" - Ally
Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts

Monday, May 17, 2010

You're Gonna Have To Face It, You're Addicted To...

... Farmville (apologies to the late Robert Palmer for adulterating his lyrics there)...

Damn game should come with a Government Health Warning!

If you are worried that you may be becoming addicted, here are some of the warning signs to look out for... If you can identify with any of these, you may need intervention:

- First thing you do in the morning is log on to Facebook to see if anyone left you any gifts.

- If no one did, you are in a bad mood for the rest of the day.

- You are seriously considering creating a fake persona on Facebook just so that they can become your neighbour so you can expand again.

- You buy a chicken coop for your TWO chickens.

- Your real world (and if you say "what's the real world?" then there really is no hope for you) friends (assuming you still have some) start avoiding you because all your conversations start with "When are you going to accept my neighbour request? You don't have to play after that, I just need another 6 neighbours so I can expand".

- You spend 65,000 farm coins to buy a (pink) tractor, a seeder AND a harvester... and you've only got 6 plots!

- You start organising your day around when your dog needs fed.

- You finally tear yourself away from the computer at 2am, with everything fed and harvested, once you've double checked that you have no pending gift requests.

- 10 minutes later after logging off at 2am, you're logging back on, just in case someone sent you a gift request in that time.

- You ignore your best friend when you meet in Tesco, just because they haven't sent you a gift request for the last 2 days.

- Despite the fact you live in a rural community, when you overhear someone saying, "I must go home and see to my chickens", your first thought is to run up to them and say, "Add me as a neighbour!"

- You have been heard shouting "Not another bloody nail! I'm not building anything!" at the computer.

- You rate your friends according to their Farmville level.

- When you hear someone say "I'm level 16 now", your reply is "Oh, bless! I remember when I was a Newbie too".

- The merest mention of "Farmville" overheard makes you prick up your ears.

- You're sitting in a cafe having a coffee, and you can hear 2 people a couple of tables away (close enough for you to earwig, but too far away for you to "casually" join in the conversation) discussing the Farmville Phenomenon... and you are so desperate to ask, "Need another neighbour? I only need one more to get a super plantation".

- You put a request out on a community-based forum you use for anyone who plays Farmville to add you as a Facebook friend, just so you can add them as a neighbour.

- You get palpitations every time there are new items available in the market.


Now, did you blush and laugh nervously at any of the above? (And, yes, I did). Then you could be in danger of becoming an addict.

However... before you book yourself into Farmers Anonymous (which may not exist, but really SHOULD)... gonna add me as a neighbour? Please? I just need 2 more to expand! I'll send you gifts regularly... and fertilise your plots... and feed your chickens... Go on... PLEASE???"



Today's Burning Question....

How does a cat know that rubbing your thumb and index finger together means "come here, puss"?

Who tells them?

Tuesday, March 02, 2010

The Cartoon Spot...

Here's a Tom & Jerry I don't ever remember seeing until a month or two ago, but it's really cute and funny...

Pecos Pest


I just love Uncle Pecos... his moustache with a life of its own, and his dance has me in stitches every time!

Viki says her dad loves this one too...

A New Simon's Cat...

I missed this one a couple of weeks ago!

Evil bird...


And, horrors... another one I missed!

Simon's Cat: Hot Spot

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

(Get) Out Of The Frying Pan...

Thank god the cooker had been switched off for a while and the frying pan was cold!

Peedie Peedie has a lot to learn yet...

Thursday, September 03, 2009

Just Saw This !

A new "Simon's Cat" animation! Cool!


Whereas I've likened some of these in the past to my previous cat, Minnie (RIP, baby... Viki & I miss you) - This one is definitely more like Gizmo, one of our 2 new cats... if there is a fly around, he HAS to chase it!

See the rest of the Simon's Cat animations here.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Lost In Translation?

HeeHee... I've got to grass Viki up...

We were down at my brother's a visit last night, and satellite music channel Bliss was playing a selection of '90's pop "classics" (I would have picked something with '80's music, but Viki keeps pointing out that she's younger than some of those songs), and on came R Kelly's "I Believe I Can Fly"...

I was doing a crossword puzzle, and Viki was colouring in a "Hello Kitty" picture (don't ask!), when she suddenly said, "I can hear him singing something, but I don't think it can really be what he's singing"... so I asked her what she thought he was singing.

She waited until the particular line came on again, and said "Here... he's singing, "I'm on a virgin king"".

I almost peed myself laughing and corrected her that what he was in fact singing was, "I'm on the verge of breaking down".

On the same theme, suddenly for me (for reasons I won't go into) Ronan Keating's song has become "You wear it best, when you wear nothing at all"...

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Harry POT-ter... And The Sorcerer's Stoned...

Just wanted to share this news story with you - mainly so I could make that terrible pun in the title of this post!

BBC: Potter Actor Admits Drug Charge

I Can Has Kitteh?

funny pictures


moar funny pictures

Saturday, June 27, 2009

I've Got To Stop...

going out on a Friday night when I'm working on Saturday!

funny pictures



Viki and I went out for a bar meal last night (it's our Friday night thing... neither of us wants to cook) and then for a couple of drinks.

Then, when the pubs closed at 1am this morning, it was such a beautiful night that we went a walk along the harbour front and sat on a bench just talking for a while, while Viki had a cigarette or 3 (that'll really help her cold(!)). It was dead quiet... for some reason there wasn't the usual lot of drunken layabouts looking for taxis and folks just hanging around... and the sky wasn't properly dark (I love Orkney around mid-summer)... and there wasn't a breath of wind...

Came home about half past 2 and I collapsed into bed... pleasantly tiddly.

Woke up this morning at 20 to 8... unpleasantly hungover. lol.

Now I'm at work. Had a cup of coffee, so I'm feeling a wee bit more human, but I'm still struggling.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

The "I Really Shouldn't Laugh, But..." Spot...

Another story from the news that's got me tickled pi... er... green:

Baby Flamingoes "Scared Of Pink"

Wouldn't it be funny if they were frightened of each other? Or of themselves?

Monday, June 15, 2009

The "I Really Shouldn't Laugh, But..." Spot...

I'm sorry... don't judge me badly for laughing at this story...

"Dirty" Puppy Survives Being Flushed

I know... I'm a bad person, and I'm going to Hell in a hand-basket... I'm not proud of it...

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Monday, May 25, 2009

I Can Has Kitteh?

funny pictures


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Today's been one of those days...

As you can see, I slept in to start with... that's to say, I got up, then sat on the sofa "for 10 minutes" - and fell asleep there!

Then I had to wrestle with the rubbish bags (which had been out at the back in the rain so were wet and yucky) to get them out so we wouldn't be over-run completely by next week.

Luckily, since I worked on Saturday, and had only had half a day off so far in lieu, I could come in at 10am.

Work's been okay, I guess... but still had to endure the radio going on about the Bank Holiday.

Then, at about 20 to 5, it suddenly registered that I hadn't taken my handbag to work with me this morning (choosing instead to just shove my purse, phone and (house) keys into my pocket. Why is it relevant that I said "(house) keys"? Well, it dawned on me that I was the only one left at work (Flunky stops at 4pm), and the keys for locking up the 2 main entrance doors were... yes, you guessed it... in my handbag! At home!

Flunky lives a half hour or so drive away from the office, and he would have been home by that time, so I sheepishly phoned my flatmate (who was on her way to me from her job by bus) and asked her if she could stay on the bus to the Travel Centre, and go home (a 5-minute walk from there) to get my key, then come back to me (a 20-minute or so walk in the dull, cold weather) with it. Thankfully, she didn't mind... and didn't call me a Muppet (even though it's what I felt like).

I hate Mondays.

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Role Model

Try this without looking at the answers :


No cheating either!



1) Pick your Favorite number between 1-9

2) Multiply by 3 then

3) Add 3, then again Multiply by 3

4) You'll get a 2 or 3 digit number….

5) Add the digits together

Now Scroll down ..............























Now with that number see who your ROLE MODEL is from the list below :

1. Einstein


2. Nelson Mandela


3. Jacob Zuma


4. Tom Cruise


5. Bill Gates


6. Gandhi


7. Brad Pitt


8. Hitler


9. AllyBally


10. Barack Obama



I know....I just have that effect on people....one day you too can be like me....




Ps. Stop picking different numbers. I am your idol, just deal with it!!!!

(Cat)Nip It In The Bud...

Or, "Why Drugs Are Bad"... Or, "Time To Have The 'Dangers Of Drugs' Chat With The Cats"...

Yesterday when I was at the pet shop getting the identity discs for the cats' collars, I decided I would try them out with some dried catnip, see if they liked it or not (Harriet and Minnie weren't interested, but Thomas, the cat I had before them, went demented for it). Took a small box home, and just left it lying on the table in the living room, but at the back...

Came through this morning, and in the half dark, I could see what looked like a wet patch on the carpet... "Oh, no", I thought, "One of the cats has peed on the floor... I guess it had to happen sooner or later"...

But on closer inspection, it was a clear plastic bag, torn open... and then there was a cardboard box, shredded, lying nearby... THE CATNIP BOX!!!!!

The little buggers must have smelt the stuff through a box AND a sealed plastic bag last night, and temptation was just too strong... So they resorted to theft for their fix.

The whole box of catnip was scoffed... apart from a thin covering on the carpet. And I had a couple of slightly stoned moggies looking at me sheepishly... before Gizmo set about shredding the box further to try to dispose of the evidence.

I did, however, manage to get some photos of the crime scene:

Exhibit A: The Shredded Box
Exhibit B: The Empty Bag
Exhibit C: More Bits Of Box
Exhibit D: Drug Residue All Over The Floor


And a video of prime suspect, Gizmo, trying to dispose of the evidence before realising he's being watched!


I'm a bit worried now... How long will it be before they decide they want their next fix? And, if I don't buy it for them, will I waken up some morning with a half-crazed, withdrawal-suffering cat holding a kitchen knife at my throat...? Or, will I come home some day to find the telly sold for a score of 'nip?

Cat-owners, I beg you... keep your puddy tats safe... warn them of the dangers of trying catnip...!

Friday, May 01, 2009

Swine Fever...

Of all the jokes I've seen / heard so far about the pandemic-or-not, this is my favourite...

Saturday, April 11, 2009

The Joke Spot

One of these "I really shouldn't laugh" jokes...

Police in London have found a bomb outside a mosque.
They've told the public not to panic as they've managed to push it inside.

Friday, April 10, 2009

I Can Has Kitteh?

funny pictures


moar funny pictures

The Joke Spot

Two Asian heroin addicts have injected themselves with curry powder by mistake - both are in intensive care...

One has a dodgy tikka and the other one is in a korma.